Expect The Unexpected

If you haven’t heard by now I have relocated to a little corner in Nashville, TN. A place to retreat into my hermit shell to write, write some more, and really give myself some tough love by forcing myself to focus.  

I believe as creatives we need to have some space to shed some skin. You can’t go on and on and on without allowing yourself to come back to center. It’s easy to get lost, to get distracted, to let the weight drop on your shoulders with so many pretty things along the way that cloud our paths. I am always the person who plans their life out 6 months ahead of time because that’s what you gotta do to be active in the music industry. So to just pack up the bare essentials into my car and head off to the music city with no plan…yeah that was a bit unexpected even I didn’t see that one coming. 

Yet here I am. 
Bed on the floor (on top of a really nice colorful rug of course).
A couple of posters to give the walls some personalities. 
A handful of books.
4 journals. 
New pens.
New strings on my guitar. 
Well…newish. 
Barely any money to make by.
And the only people I really know are the two people I’m living with besides that I’m just another stranger with a guitar. 

I am grateful I took this chance.
Do you know how often you get to see your impact on the people around you?
It’s a rare moment.
The days leading up to when I left I was so taken back with the amount of love and support pouring in. Not that I didn’t believe it when people said they did support me but to see it…raw…and personal right in front of me. It really opened my eyes. All the stories shared, the late nights, the teary speeches one by one in private time. It was hard but everyone gave me that light (that last push of motivation) to drive 755 miles away from all that warmth because I knew I wasn’t wrong doing this.  

So welcome to the new page—Shit—the whole new chapter in my life. 
Getting out of my comfort zone, not to runaway or to turn my back on what I know but to expand on what I already do. 
Allowing myself to be scared but not letting it hold me back.
I need to go ask questions, I need to explore, I need to grow and the only way to do that is to take that risky path filled with potholes, uneven surfaces and signs saying “caution falling rocks at times”. 

At the end of the day, you have to take a step back from your “day to day” life and ask yourself “is this all I’ve wanted?” And if the answer is yes, then keep doing it! If the answer is no, ask why. What can you work towards to change that?

Sometimes the greatest and most simple answer is right in front of you. Allow yourself a break and be inspired by those around you. I am thankful I have.

Releasing The Music Video

Runaway with me.
The FULL music video.
A FULL journey to make it a reality.

Making a music video isn’t easy. If anyone knows me, they know I overthink, overthink and overthink some more before I send it out to the world for all the wolves to eat it. But isn’t every artist that way? This music video was going to be real different than any other video I have released. It’s going to show not me playing guitar all dolled up in make up, or running around in some woods, no, this time it’s going to show the hard work behind all of the magic.

I have so much footage from the studio when we were recording Doppelgänger that I could probably make a full length DVD and split it into two parts. Not sure who would really watch it besides our parents but hey it could be a thing. Honestly, I adore watching the behind the scenes of making music; the bandmates cracking each other up over dumb jokes because they are delusional after spending 8 hours with each other in one room, laying around the floor, making funny faces at the camera…oh wait maybe those last two were just me? Anyways, all of the memories are golden. I wanted to show that. To show how we were a bunch of friends coming together to make an awesome album because that’s how it felt. It may be my songs that I wrote lyrics to but the band…they made it home…they made it warm and filled with all the exciting decorations.

I don’t think any of us intended to play so many shows together but we did. I mean hey, we spent months learning this stuff so lets go out and showcase it! Many (many, many, many) shows later, featured in festivals, on TV, and in short films, it was time I departed to go on tour. I went on a couple of tours actually BUT this was the big one. So I needed to release my album before I go on tour because that’s just silly not to. So it was decided. I put some heat under my own ass, worked even tighter with my producer, Matthew Frost, and pumped out the rest of the album. I don’t think any musician expects their album to take two years to make, life happens though and you have to roll with the punches.

May 2017, the album is set to be released the week of my 25th birthday. The last 6 months was also spent cooking up an amazing Northeast tour with fellow lady musician Sam Roberston. We basically met 4 or 5 times a week to sit in a coffeshop, send hundreds of e-mails (gets rejected or ignored by many of them), and map out our glorious “Never Come Back” tour. Neither of us ever did anything like this before. We barely had merch or a website nonetheless fans that would want to see us outside Florida but we did it.

Coming back was the hardest part.
Home has never really felt the same since.
I have a constant craving to get in my car and drive off to cities to play in random venues and meet complete strangers that turn into friends at the end of the night.

This music video embodies that feeling. That feeling of well…running away.
But it’s a different “running away” then the song was based off when my 18 year old self wrote it. This is for that girl I saw on tour; the one who faced her anxieties, who went up on stage and gave it her all every night to venues filled with just 5 people or to a packed out house, the one who ate barely anything so she could pump the car with gas, to the girl who felt really alone expect for on the road and didn’t want to face anything behind her. I carry that person with me. She just doesn’t get to come out as often.

Sometimes you just gotta yell to the clouds chasing you down.